{random} stories :: how often do we look inside?

Almost a year ago, I registered on Flickr… posted some pictures of mine, those I thought had enough quality to share with the world. I spent some time exploring, discovered interesting pictures, made a few comments, and got connected with a few interesting Flickrers. Then I discovered that posting pictures of Interior Styling was quite frequent and that some people had and amazing taste, and gladly shared their homes with the rest of the world. So I did the same. And got more connected, met more interesting people… and almost one year later, I may say that I have some friends. One of these friends has a blog, a wonderful blog, which I follow with pleasure due to her interesting and eloquent thoughts. And often I feel connected with these thoughts. Today was one of those days.
As much as extrospection, in common words observing ( to put it in a kind manner ) what others do, is so often noticed and exercised, there seems to be a rather big absence of introspection, meaning , observing ourselves, personalities and behavior.

But to achieve that, we must be willing to see all parts of ourselves, parts that are often unpleasant, small, wrong, terrifying sometimes, along with all the greatness that each of us carries.

We often think about others, how they act with us, what they think of us, and what we think of them. It’s a natural thing. We cannot in any way go against this. It’s in our nature. We observe. We analyze. We judge. We can cope with this in a positive way or, on the other hand, we can cope with it in a more negative way… by being solely alert to other’s actions and words, in order to criticize and point out the negative and bad things. By this we’ll be only surrounded by negativism… by dark days… clouds and storms, unable to see the light, unable to feel free, unable to find our own way, unable to feel the happiness and our path.

This leads us to introspection (as my friend also wrote about). As I spent a few years all alone, without finding true love, I learned to be all by myself. I learned to do things alone, to handle grocery, bills, domestic problems, learned to cook (not brilliantly, but I love it), and to spend time alone… wondering around Lisbon, even travelling alone (I’m a master in taking pictures of me on monuments/interesting places, or to find someone trustworthy to ask to take a picture of me)… and one friend of mine, always worried about my heart, everytime I told her I had been somewhere, she would ask “With who?” and I would answer “With no one… just me!” and after seeing her sad face, I would tell her “My dear friend, I will only be able to be with someone for real, and allowing that perosn to become a part of my life, if I know myself, and know how to be alone. Then I will be prepared to be with someone.”

And I guess this is a major step in our lives. And know you’re wondering “What step?”… to be able to discover the answer to this question.

{who am i?}

Alert, you won’t find it in a week or two, or even five years. This will be a full-time job… during your entire life. But you need to be honest with yourself and try. Or you’re going to become just someone… without a soul (this is kind of harsh… but these are the words).

And discovering yourself mean {introspection}.

Introspection means “observing ourselves, personalities and behavior.“, she said.

Introspection means looking inside, discovering the good, but also the dark… accept those lines, eventhough you should try to lighten those lines. But accept that you’re not perfect, and you have flaws… and you must cope with those flaws, make them better if you can, if not, let others know you know yourself, and you know your flaws. Help them cope with you as well, as we are all different and we must accept others as well as ourselves.

{how often do we look inside… ourselves?}

Introspection, as the term is used in contemporary philosophy of mind, is a means of learning about one’s own currently ongoing, or perhaps very recently past, mental states or processes.”

{random} stories :: when are we being selfish?

{choose a chair to sit… and listen}

Is the question that is going through my mind for the last hours.

Maybe due to my academic education, I often wonder about people’s different ways of thinking… acting… reacting… of being. We are all different from each other, not necessarily better or worse, just different.

But how often do we judge others because they act differently from us? I already wrote something about differences among people, and how those differences should and must be respected. We’re not all the same, we don’t grow among the same family, friends, teachers, cities… societies. Therefore, we are different from each other…final point. We have and must respect each other.

And among friends…? Are there rules? I guess there are. Even so, these rules can be quite different from friend to friend. We can have different rules for this special and close friend that lives next to us, works with us, and have different rules for another friend, very close, but that lives away from us… which makes the contact different.

However these are, frequently, silent rules. We don’t begin a friendship by writing rules down… we create them through the days, weeks, months, years… experiences that we have with that person. Nevertheless, there are changes in our lives, that lead us to some smooth differences in our rules… maybe we’re not always available, maybe we start to also enjoy other things, besides the other ones we already enjoyed, maybe we start to care about doing just those things that make us feel so happy… and nevertheless, there’s sometimes someone that makes you feel bad, because you’ve changed.

But that’s not quite the point I would like to make… I would like to make a different point… if we do those things that make us happy (and sometimes these things are not with our friends), if we don’t hurt no one, if we don’t let our friends alone waiting for support or that special word, if we just say no to something because we hate to do it, even a trivial thing… even if we said we would… is that being selfish? Or just you? Is that really important? Or just a moment among your days? Is that a bad thing? Or being bad is much worse than this?

When are we being selfish?

Maybe sometimes we do have to do things that we’re not really fond of, just because it’s important for our friends… even the smallest thing.

Maybe that’s when we know we’re being selfish…

And then? Then you talk to your friend, explain, say that you’re sorry and promise to make up for her/him in a next time.

We’re not perfect. And we shouldn’t try to be perfect. And we shouldn’t expect anyone to be perfect, not let anyone to expect that from us. We must be loved with our flaws. How much flaws is too much? Well, that’ll be for a next post.


{random} stories :: challenges

Challenges are everywhere right?
From the smallest one you come across with to something really challenging that makes you think, makes you plan a strategy, makes you wonder, makes you… decide wether you’re up to it or not.

In our lives, I guess we’re told to face all challenges, all dificulties that come along. It’s a way to build a stronger mind and… sometimes, even a stronger heart. And of course, asides all parental protection we face challenges from the very first day.

We want to eat, so we cry until someone comes to us…
We are cold, and we cry again…
When we go to school for the first time, we experience a day away from our parents…
Years later we fall in love and this love for itself will become a challenge…
The day we have to choose a professional path…
Our first day of work, new responsibilities, new skills to develop… performance evaluations…
The day we move in with the love of our lives… and we have to cope with differences…
…all a challenge… every day.

Challenges are sometime hard, others even a pleasure… and of course, there are those for whom a challenge is always a pleasure. I’ll be honest. I’m a low-profile person. My wish is to live a quiet and peaceful life, but full in its meaning and actions. One of my main concerns is about my last day on earth. We cannot know when we will die… (don’t worry, I’m not a dark person, with dark thoughts… on the contrary, but life and death are both natural things, so we must face them as they are)… but like I was saying, we cannot know when our day will come, but one of my main concerns is about that day, and my last thought… and it will be about my life.

Will I think that my life was a good one?
Will I feel in peace with myself about the decisions I made?
Will I regret something I didn’t do? I truly hope not. I really want to be sure I did everything to have the most meaningful life, surrounded by love and happy with my decisions.

So, this matter was about facing a challenge always like a pleasure. I don’t feel that all the time.

For now I’m facing two challenges… one with the greatest pleasure and other one with some concern…
… for now I share a place (did I ever mentioned it was a very very small place?) with someone I love. It is a challenge, not because we’re facing dificulties in coping with each other, but because it is a very small place so, it is a challenge to multiply space. It is a happy challenge!

… and along with this happy challenge, there is another one not that happy – work. I’m not the happiest person with my work… over these past few months I’ve been losing the sense of belonging. And every moment I have I spend it wondering about the way I can feel free… free to do something with pleasure, free to create, free to manage my time… free to dedicate time to those I love, to the things I love. And somehow I’ve been feeling that this challenge is right across some door I’ll be opening soon. For all I know, for this door to open, I’ll have to face one bigger challenge… spend a few months abroad in a challenging project that will provide me with very important skills and financial stability, that will be of a huge importance for future decisions.

Hope. Trust. Love. Love. Love. Love. {all the main things to face future right now}

{random} stories :: have i ever mentioned that….

I’m in love?

I’ve mentioned before that changes have come to my life quite unexpected… and some good changes. I won’t mention everything that has changed in my life in these last months, because I guess some things are quite personal… but even so, what I’d like to tell you about is that there are those days where things happen… things change… and sometimes (there’s this word again!) things change for better.

When we’re not happy with our lives, we just think about sunnier days. We think about our misfortune, we think about tomorrow… we think about those days we felt happy. We can just turn the page and do something about it (a plan to start with would be quite nice) or just wonder around with our arms down.

I must confess, I’m not always optimistic. I hate this about me. I do. When things go wrong (and they have been more than I wished in my life) I always keep my head down for a while, although knowing that’s not the right thing to do, the right path to follow. Keep your head up! Choose another path, fight… fight to choose, fight to discover your right to be happy, to find your happiness.

Well, but for now… in these days I’m not feeling sad, not at all. I could use a change on the professional side, but that I’ll be arranging day by day, once it’s not something you could characterize as easy. But like I was telling you, I’m not feeling sad. I’m in a very good moment.

I’m in love.

I’m in love with several things in my life.

in love because I’ve been…
… in touch with my creativity.
… exploring my creativity.
… inspired by such inspiring souls I’ve met in these last months (women of explendid taste and sense about living a peaceful and rewarding life filled with romance and delicate details in their lives… women who fight every day for their right to be just as they feel they have to be).
… planning changes.
… happy being me, exploring my passions.

So, for this today my words are dedicated to small things, to passions in life, to details.

Today my words go out for photography and specially for lomography, which I’ve been so happy in discovering… just because it’s unexpected and yet it can be so rewarding, just as life.

{random} stories :: lisboa

# 1 – Photography

Some pictures I made of my home… Lisbon, as I feel at home right here. And when I’m not at home, I miss its light, its colours, its historical streets, the traditional buildings… I miss its culture… it’s my version of the city that never sleeps. Welcome to my home…

{Príncipe Real}


{Estação do Rossio}


Take care,
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