Well, to begin with…this is the first day of my first blog aka “diary” of so many things. So, why create a blog? Do I want someone to read it? Maybe… or maybe not.
And why not buy a simple and plain book and start writing on it? It is true I love to write… I’m probably not an excellent writer, but who told you that I had to be excellent in doing something I really enjoy? I guess that’s the beauty of it.
So… this blog aka “diary” of so many things is for…? This is to be certain that I discover myself and follow what I truly believe in. And to be almost on my thirties and still discovering myself… I feel that this has a major importance. It’s my mistery.
I guess no one really cares about my mistery, my keys, my life, but as you can imagine, I do care. I care because I always thought I would come to this point and already have all the keys needed to open all the doors. Not that I would use them all in the beggining, but I would have all the keys… But I don’t.
Every day that goes by, I try to find another key. Sometimes, I can’t find any. Some other times, I find more than one key. But now… here’s the thing. I’ve been finding some keys lately, but they come in raw, which means I have to… how do I say this… outline them. And yes, it’s a lot of work, and most of all… courage. And now you’re asking (let’s pretend that someone’s there reading, ok?) “Do you have what it takes? Do you have that courage?”
And I’ll have to answer “I guess so!” But let’s face it, it’s not an easy thing to do! Outline keys? And what if I get something wrong and outline a key I won’t use later? I don’t want to keep a box with some keys I’ll never use. I want to be able to find and outline keys I’ll actually use to open doors.
I remember one day, and I guess this was the first time I said out loud what I wanted and didn’t want to do in my life. Not some great thing, right? Everyone does this! But for me it was a great thing, because I was six. And being six, I should be just worrying about playing around with my dolls, and learning my math lesson, but I was worrying already about my life. Was that too early? I don’t think so. But anyway… although being worried so soon, that didn’t keep me from having all this trouble finding keys. Instead… and more than two decades before, I’m still looking…
But wait… I haven’t told you what I said out loud at the age of six. I don’t recall anyone asking me, but I said this “I don’t want to get married and I want to go to New York!”
Let me tell you something about this sentence. I guess I got something right… I’m not married.
…and I’m still looking for the key with NY written on it.