… said a good friend of mine. and it made me think a little bit more about family, once again. last thursday i got back home and on my way to meet mr twiggs at his parents’ home for dinner, i was thinking about family. family was the reason i had to be away these days. it was nothing serious, just a minor surgery and recovery that took longer than expected. i come from a family of four, and fortunately, my brother and i were able to share these happenings and manage to take care of our father, while mom was away. and it was exactly this that made me think while i was driving. the importance of brothers and sisters. he was born 9 years before me, so i didn’t grow up with the feeling that i had someone to play. but instead i remember being angry at him most of the times, because let’s face it, i wanted to watch some cartoons and as he was already a teenager at that time, he didn’t have any patience with me, nor was he interested in cartoons. so we argued all the time. he was always the rebel one and i was always the nice and well-behaved girl (boooooring!). it was only when we were both grown-ups that we started to really get along. and until now, that’s how it is between us. the curious thing is that he went north, i went south and my parents continued living where they always lived, in the center of the country. we can be one month without talking with each other, but the good thing is when my brother calls it’s like we were together the day before.
and thursday, it really felt good to have a brother. not because i could come back home and he would take my place next to my father, but because it feels good to have someone else in the family to talk about our parents, that grew up with us, that knows our parents as well as we do, that is a part of our story, of our values, is a main character in our childhood stories. we are diferent and somehow it’s like i cannot describe him that well, at least his flaws. but he is a part of me. the four of us are a part of something really good and important, we are family. my parents got married and had us as their children. and now that my parents will reach their 70’s in a couple of years, it feels good to have someone to share the responsibilities, to talk to, to laugh with about the stories and the episodes.
family comes first and sometimes things do not happen as expected. but these days that were unexpected and stressful because other things were happening, and i was being needed, were also good to give me the opportunity to spend some time with my father, to realize even more that the man i knew is no longer there, but at the same time, his blue eyes emain the same, his smile has the same tone and beauty. my father had several silent strokes in the last years, which means that his memory was seriously affected, and lately his speech was also affected, as we cannot have a normal conversation with him, he still reads but at this point i don’t know what kind of information reaches his brain. so family comes first and is something really important, even when we are away. time doens’t stop and sometimes it brings surprises. and now i just hope my brother and i can still be here for them, and most of all i hope my mom can continue healthy and strong to handle things at home!
and now another story, i’ve been a bit absent as well because my laptop began to feel really sick so it went to the doctor, alng with my external hard drive that started to “cough” as well. as i use both hard drives at some point, some information/work may be lost. and yes, i’m here again. and the ironic thing is that i was going to use an online backup service to keep the most important files in a very safe place. and now i’m at that point again where some things may be lost for good. i may have a really bad karma when it comes down to trust my luck, the luck that i should know i don’t have. and now i’m working from a very very old laptop, and i miss my pictures. i’ve been thinking about those. as a photographer, photos are that important to me. photos are my memories. they tell my story. and feeling that i may lose some of those photos is like losing some stories. it’s an awful feeling. and i think i’m even more in love with analogue work. as that is (almost) always safe in negatives and dvd’s.
so now i hope you can pray a little bit for me, and if you don’t pray, at least have this situation in your thoughts and hope for a goo ending like i’m hoping! please, i really need your strength on your thoughts! have a lovely sunday my friends, i’ve missed you terribly!